How to deal with parents who oppose in practising Sunnah

9 years ago

Admin

6 minutes

Question:

A student asks ‘some youth face problems with their families and their parents due to implementing the Sunnah and holding fast to it. So what is your advice to them and guidance for them?’

Answer:

This question is in reality from the emerging issues and it is important because due to my contact with the Muslim youth and their contact with me, I know that many of these youth oppose Islam in dealing with their parents using as evidence holding fast to the Sunnah. So like that, it is necessary I turn my attention to these brothers, the youth who are eager to hold fast to the Sunnah in every land of Islam. So I say:

First: it is necessary to restrict the subject between the son, the father, and the mother because the parents have rights that no one shares in from the other relatives. So the son who is dutiful, the one who wants to hold fast to the Sunnah and does not find support in that from his parents, then no doubt his position is very delicate. So like that, I turn his attention to dividing this Sunnah. Sunnah means according to fiqh, ‘what is underneath fardh (obligation) or wajib’. Sunnah according to the understanding of fiqh is, ‘what is other than fardh or wajib’ along with the difference of opinion between the schools of thought in regards to wajib and fardh.

As for the Sunnah according to the legislated meaning, then it is ‘the legislation that came from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and the methodology and path which the Messenger sallallahu alahyi wa sallam tread’. It is the straight path about which the Lord of the Worlds said in the Honorable Quran:

وَأَنَّ هَذَا صِرَاطِي مُسْتَقِيمًا فَاتَّبِعُوهُ وَلا تَتَّبِعُوا السُّبُلَ فَتَفَرَّقَ بِكُمْ عَنْ سَبِيلِهِ

And verily, this (i.e. Allah’s Commandments mentioned in the above two Verses 151 and 152) is my Straight Path, so follow it, and follow not (other) paths, for they will separate you away from His Path. This He has ordained for you that you may become Al-Muttaqun

[6:153]

So the Sunnah according to the legislated meaning is the straight path and it is the legislation of the Lord of the Worlds. This legislation has in it what is fardh and what is not fardh. So this is obligatory in the affair of the dutiful, pious son. So therefore along with this division, the statement of the Honorable Prophet sallahu alayhi wa salam is brought forth:

لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق

There is no obedience to the creation in the disobedience of the Creator

[Saheeh Jami no. 7520]

So if anyone is afflicted from these youth by one parent or both parents in preventing him from establishing something obligated by Allah, then there is no obedience to the creation in the disobedience of the Creator. As for if they prevent him from what is not obligatory that is according to the meaning of the Sunnah in fiqh, (an action which whose doer is rewarded for doing so and not punished for leaving it), then the dutiful son obeys his parents and leaves off the Sunnah, which his parents are not pleased with. As for the fardh, then there is no obedience to the creation in the disobedience of the Creator. Perhaps the issue will become clear by giving one example of an obligation which is not allowed to obey the father or mother in and another example of the Sunnah which the parents are not pleased with and in that case it is necessary to leave off the Sunnah.

If this youth who is in this question wants to grow up in the obedience of Allah and he wants to be from the seven whose mention has come in the Hadith whose authenticity is agreed upon. The Hadith of Abu Hurairah raidallahu anhu who said that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said:

سبعةٌ يظلهم الله تحت ظله يوم لا ظل إلا ظله : إمام عادل ، وشاب نشأ في طاعة الله ، ورجل قلبه معلق بالمساجد

a youth who grew up with the worship of Allah; a person whose heart is attached to the mosque

[Agreed upon]

So if he wants to be a youth who grows up in the obedience of Allah and his heart attached to the masjid, then he will not hear the statement of the Muadhin saying, ‘come to the prayer, come to the success’, except that he will leave his house, his shop, his work with his father and go to the masjid. If his father says ‘no, we are now at the time of work, the time of business. (Therefore) leave off this empty speech.’ In this case, we say:

لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق

There is no obedience to the creation in the disobedience of the Creator

[Saheeh Jami no. 7520]

It is not allowed for this son to obey his father in leaving off the prayer in the masjid. This is an example and the examples are very many.

The other example is (that) this youth who grew up upon the Sunnah and he wants, for example, for his thawb to be at the middle of his shins. His father says to him, ‘this is slanderous, this is humiliating, this is not beautiful. I do not want for you to wear this clothing. If you want to wear this dishdasha, qamees, jalaabiyah, it can only be longer than the middle of the shins.’ Here we say to this youth, ‘obey your father because if you obey your father in this issue, you will not disobey your Lord.’ We say that the principle is:there is no obedience to the creation in the disobedience of the Creator.

If he said to him, ‘it is necessary to lengthen this qamees or dishdasha until the tops of the feet, until below the ankle’, then he is not obeyed because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said:

ما طال ففي النار

What extends [below the ankles] is in the fire

According to his scale, it is obligatory upon the righteous children to establish obedience to their parents and their disobedience. Obedience in what is not disobedience and disobedience to them in what is obedience to Allah, the Exalted from what is obligatory.

This is a situation I hear again and again; that some children live in the house of their parents (and) the father forces his son to obey him in what is disobedience to his Lord. Otherwise, he will force his son to leave the house of his father. And the son is not capable of leaving. Many sons, especially if they are young in age (being the likes of) fifteen years old, sixteen years old, and do not have a profession to live independently from their family for themselves. So in this situation we say (to individuals in that situation that) ‘if he does not permit you to pray in the masjid of the Muslims or attend the Jummah and congregation, then this is not allowed in Islam.’ When it is asked of me: then I say, ‘if he is capable of leaving the house and living alone, then this is obligatory. Otherwise, necessity make permissible the prohibited things.’ This is my answer to your question.

Questioner:

Jazakallahu Khairan

Shaikh:

Yes.

[Silsilatul Huda wan-Nur no. 521]

Translated by : Faisal Ibn Abdul Qaadir Ibn Hassan Abu Sulaymaan