Asalamu alaykum wa rahmatulahi wa barkaatuhu.
O noble Shaykh, certainly my wife use to wear clothing which covers (her body). From a balto (i.e. abaaya) and jalbaab as well as a face covering. And now she has left off the jalbaab and wears the face covering and balto (abaayah) and this balto is tight around the upper (body) and (as for) the lower (body) then its okay. And she (also) wears over the balto a tight coat whilst her hands are also uncovered. And when I order her to wear the jalbaab and gloves she says I have now become older and I have reached 32 years of age and no one looks at me and I look at no one. And she leaves the house without my permission despite her knowing the legislated ruling of this (action). And she says I have been obedient to you all these years and now -that’s it-. I have to determine my future because I have become older.
Give us the Islamic verdict may you be rewarded.
How should this woman be dealt with knowing she has four children for me?
The obligation is upon the woman to be obedient to her husband (so long as) its not in disobedience to Allaah. And from this, is that she fulfills his commandment in wearing the legislated hijaab and that she does not exit from his home except with his permission.
And the Messenger Sallallahu alaihi wa salaam- said:
“If I was to order anyone to prostrate to anyone, I would’ve ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband. ”
But if she desires -as it has been mentioned in the question- to determine her future, upon what she claims that she has become older. Then he has the right if she refuses to be obedient to him to disciple her and he may divorce her. Except if she abides by the command of Allaah and realizes that the overseeing and sustaining (of the matters) is for the husband.
Allaah the Most High has said:
Men are the overseers and substainers of women, because Allaah has caused one of them excel the other, and because men spend out of their wealth (on the women )… (an-Nisaa:34).
And with Allaah lies success.
Answered by : The noble Shaykh Yahya al-Hajooree
Written by : Abu ‘Atiyah Mahmood bin Muhammad