Is it permissible to ask about a girl (for marriage) that another person previously asked about and then disappeared (never to be seen again)


Question :

If a man approaches a family with the purpose of inquiring about their daughter in marriage and then shortly afterwards disappears never to be seen again.  Is it incumbent upon a  second suitor to ask the first suitor (who disappeared never to be seen again) permission before he inquires about this same girl (for the purpose of marriage)?

Answer :

Shaykh Fath Al Qadasee (May Allah preserve him) answered by saying, that if it is a possibility to contact the first suitor (whether it be by phone or otherwise) in order to confirm that he is no longer interested in marrying this girl then that would be best, however, if it is obvious that the first suitor is no longer interested in marrying the girl (due to his long absence) then there would be no issue if he (the second suitor) proceeded to inquire about this girl (for purpose of marriage).

Answered by : Shaykh Fath Al Qadasee (May Allah preserve him)

Question :

If an individual approaches a family for marriage and he turns away without giving back any news and he cuts off any contact with them, is it allowed for a second individual to go forward for marriage to that family?

Answer :

It is not permissible for anyone to approach in this case until the first one has been finished with and completely done with this affair. Due to the saying of the Messenger of Allah salallahu alayhi wa sallam from the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them) which states that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

“No man should offer a proposal of marriage over the proposal of his brother until the first one gives up or gives him permission.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4746 and also found in Muslim, as was mentioned by the Shaykh).

As for the fact that he has cut off for some period of time, then this goes back to the woman herself and also to her family and those that are in charge of her.  That they request that the individual to either complete the process or he steps back.

Answered by : Shaykh Abdullah Aryani